I waited until Kyle had left the room before throwing off the covers and rolling myself into a sitting position. Breathing labored, I sat on the edge of our bed and dropped my head in my hands, waiting for the wave of dizziness to dissipate.

​

When it finally did, I reached for a bottle of meds off my nightstand and quickly flicked the cap open. Swallowing down the little pills with no water, I snatched up my cell and dialed the familiar number that was etched in my memory. 

​

"Mrs. Carter," Dr. Brady's concerned voice came down the line after two short rings. He didn’t sound surprised to hear from me and that worried me for reasons only a person in my position could understand. "How are you feeling?" 

​

"Worse," I admitted quietly, keeping the heel of my hand pressed to my brow. "Is there any chance you could be wrong?" Clenching my eyes shut, I forced my tears to still and not spill out. "Could the tests be wrong?"  

​

There was a long stretch of silence before my doctor sighed heavily down the line. "There's no mistake. Your body is rejecting your kidney."

​

"But why now?"

​

"It's more common in transplant patients than you'd think," he replied. "We've been running tests and adjusting your treatment for over eighteen months now, Mrs. Carter. You're in kidney failure." 

​

I held in the scream that threatened to tear from my throat and nodded. "Okay." 

​

"You've been here before," he continued, tone gentle and coaxing. "And we found a match. Don’t lose faith."

​

"I was a lot younger then," I strangled out. "And my mother –"

​

"Please try not to stress," he cut me off and said. "It's not good for you."

​

"It's just –" I had to stop and drag in a calming breath before I could continue. "My boys, Cash and Casey –" A sniffle escaped me and I groaned. "They're only little." 

​

"You are forty-six years old," he reminded me. "And I have no intention of losing a patient so young. We will continue with the dialysis and wait." He paused before adding, "And pray." 

​

"So, that's the only way?" I whispered, barely breathing. "I need another transplant or nothing?" 

​

"Yes." He sighed heavily down the line. "I'm afraid that's your only option. As soon as possible. Otherwise…"

​

Otherwise, I die. "How much time do I have?" I croaked out. "Be honest, doctor."

​

"With a successful transplant? Your whole life. Without one?" He sighed wearily. "A matter of months." 

​

"I see." Frozen, I clutched the phone tightly in my hand. "I understand." 

​

"Have you told your husband?" he asked gently. "Or the rest of your family?" 

​

"Not yet," I replied numbly.

​

"I think it's time," he offered. "Your body is weakening, Mrs. Carter. It won't be long until hospital admission is your only option. You need support. You have a loving family. You also have the option of –"

​

"No," I bit out, unable to stop the tears from streaking down my cheeks. "I will not ask my children to do that for me."

​

"If they were tested, we could narrow it down significantly. Your husband isn't a match, but you have six biological children. That's incredible odds –"

​

"No," I snapped, tone harder now. "I had two perfect kidneys once, doctor. In the blink of an eye, I was thrown into this position. One moment in time took my health from me. I am fully aware of how quickly life can change for the worst. What if that happened to them? Say I take a kidney from one of my sons and then he's in a car wreck or worse? Needing a kidney and not having one because his mother took it from him? No. I won't risk their lives and futures for mine. I would never forgive myself."

​

"Mrs. Carter, you really need to think hard about what you're –"

​

"It's not happening." 

​

With another weary sigh, Dr. Brady said, "You have your pager. Keep it on you at all times." 

​

"I will," I whispered. 

​

"And Lee?"

​

"Yes?"

​

"Talk to your husband. You won't be able to hide this from him for much longer."